I thank all those who broke my heart.
Because through them my shell was cracked.
I thank all those who hurt me through their words.
For through them I recognized my wounds.
I thank all those who left me alone.
For through them I was forced to get in touch with my soul.
I thank all those who told me that I was incurable.
Because through them I was able to invent myself.
I thank all those who accompany me on my way.
Because they reflect to me where I am right now on my healing path.
Gratitude is an emotion that, when sincerely felt, can open new doors for us. Normally, we feel grateful after we have received something.
In my early 30s, I decided to take a serious look at the phrase “Be Grateful in ALL Things.” Really? In ALL things? In ALL! Things? What would happen if I followed through? For two years!
In any case, not only “great” things met me. And yet, I said thank you. Sometimes quite loudly, with a rumble in my voice or an angry undertone that certainly felt more real than something like gratitude. But gratitude is not exclusively a feeling. Gratitude is first and foremost an attitude. An appreciation of a higher intelligence that knows very well what path we desire for our soul and brings to consciousness what is necessary for growth. Or puts as a wall in the way in front of which we then run.
Sometimes I just sat in the car, turned the music of Sting – Let your soul be your guidance — on maximum and cried as loud or as quiet as it hurt me. Sometimes, though, I would scream the song out loud, full of rage. Full of longing. Or full of scorn. Every time I screamed in this way, “Thank you, even if it’s not what I want. Thank you, even if it darn well hurts. Thank you because I trust that it makes sense on a level I can’t access right now,” I got a response. In the form of an image, an insight, or an encounter. So gratitude as advance praise and advance trust. As an insight that gratitude solves what appears confused or even painful. Teaching rehearsals for trust.
When you are able to accept a situation in gratitude, it is instantly transformed.
I ended the experiment and the process after about 18 months. With the realization, “I am not Jesus.” I am Corinna. And I want to be and remain the same.” How did it come about? A pregnant woman had come to me and asked me to bless her and her baby. That was the last straw for me. I don’t want to be that holy. I am not Jesus. And I don’t want to be. That was just the tip of the iceberg. The last drop.
The emotional signature of gratitude corresponds to a reality of having already received. Even if we have not received what we think we desire. The soul comes first. The desires of the soul take precedence over the desires of the mind. In the state of gratitude or appreciation, we are at the highest level of receiving. By authentically feeling gratitude, we open invisible doors. We accept what is and what we deem ourselves worthy of. Gratitude is like an upward spiral. What we are grateful for is so much stronger than what our worries try to ward off. Gratitude can open invisible doors. We start with small things, appreciating what is right now, and in doing so bring our bodies and minds to a higher emotional level of experiencing happiness and doing so in the present moment. Gratitude for things we “don’t want”, didn’t consciously call forth, can bring you into deeper humility, further awareness and a higher vibration. Complete acceptance of what is right now does not dissipate energy into defensiveness or struggle. With gratitude in ALL things, we acknowledge the inseparable connection of everything and ourselves as part of the whole.
~ BienanDanza Corinna F.N. Bornhorst